Is It Mistletoe or Mistlewoe?

The holidays can be amazing and wonderful. They can, however, also provide their own unique set of challenges that go beyond buying the perfect gift, having the right decorations or the prettiest house on the block. Holidays can be difficult for many reasons.

First there is the time of year. Our time in the sun is shortening each day. We must leave behind the ease and carefree days of summer. The majestic beauty of autumn has passed. We are left with our world as a portrait in shades of grey; skeletal trees, dirty snow, long cloudy days. It feels like the light has left the world.

Next is the biologic reality for some individuals. As the hours of sunlight shorten, some individuals do experience emotional difficulty due to lack of sunlight. These individuals experience symptoms of depression that seem to magically lift as spring begins to return. This condition, Seasonal Affective Disorder, known as S.A.D., is real and treatable in collaboration with a trained professional.

But finally let’s talk about expectations. Many grow up with the image of Currier and Ives prints showing a family gathered around a holiday meal. Even from the picture one can almost smell the yummy smells and hear the laughter and words of love and affection.

If Currier and Ives isn’t in your memory bank then just watch television, it doesn’t matter if it’s network or cable, the effect is the same. Viewers are bombarded with sitcoms, movies, documentaries, concerts all focused on the magic of one day, December 25th. While the characters may struggle, their problems are wrapped up and neatly resolved in the space of the show.

If the shows don’t get you, then let’s look at the advertising, both on television and in the stores, that begins promoting immediately following Halloween. Engagement rings, the perfect family holiday, perfume, the list goes on but I won’t, you already have the picture. The reality is that each one of us is inundated by the message that we SHOULD be happy, we MUST be happy. For many though, that just isn’t the case.

All of these symbols; light, jolliness, festivities are landmines that can trigger us to just feel awful. While we’re told to be happy, the gap between the infused happiness and one’s personal experience widens. In that gap one might feel lost, lonely and alienated from those making merry around us.

So, what to do then? I guess the first step to do is to recognize that this time of year, winter, holidays, family gatherings, may present challenges for you. So, with that recognition I encourage you to: be kind with and to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and perhaps limit your expectations. Proceed as slowly as you need, don’t let others dictate your actions based on their expectations.

And now let’s look at some practical advice. Be mindful of what you eat and drink. We often find ourselves consuming food and beverages we don’t ordinarily indulge in. Use moderation. Enjoy yourself, but don’t hurt yourself in the process. No one enjoys a hangover and who needs to add a diet to next year’s list of resolutions. Wouldn’t a wonderful gift to yourself be to fit in your clothes after the holidays?

Get plenty of rest. Make your bedroom your sanctuary that’s primary purpose is provide you a place for a restful night’s sleep. That doesn’t just apply to now, this is important all the time.

Retire and rise at the same time each day, as much as possible. No tv, computer or cell phone in the bedroom, for you, your partner and the children. Consider an eyeshade to block out all ambient light. Perhaps lavender diffused in the air to promote calm would help. Maybe white noise is necessary to diminish external noises. Do whatever necessary to achieve a good night’s rest.

Use this time to connect with those individuals who love and honor you. This may be your beloved pet or your great aunt Sally. Partake of the festivities only as you want to, no explanation is necessary if you say, “no thank you.” This is a beautiful way to honor yourself when your batteries are on low.

As I’ve said in other blogs, turn the wheel on your kaleidoscope, ever so slightly. Try to see the beauty and magic of winter. Look at the trees and explore winter’s purpose as a time of rest and rejuvenation. There is beauty in a snowfall. Look at birds whose summer camouflage prevents us from appreciating their beauty the rest of the year. Try to look beyond and see the more.

And finally, remember this, winter WILL NOT last forever. The daylight, spring, flowers, summer and freedom will return once again. Draw in, rest, recharge. Use this time as a gift and explore opportunities to enjoy this time of year in a new way.